Building A Life That's Sustainable

At the top of the year, I took a poll on my Instastories about different kinds of content my readers wanted. The response to the life sustainability, financial stewardship, and self -are polls were was a resounding yes, so here we are! If you didn’t catch the financial stewardship/financial self-care posts, click the links to read Part 1and Part 2.

But getting back to the whole life sustainability thing: it’s hard. It’s taken me a long time to learn the lessons that I’m going to share and in no way does this mean that I’ve “arrived”. Building and living a life that is sustainable requires daily work. My natural disposition is to go hard for/on everything. I’m a very driven person, so for a long time I felt like not going so hard meant doing [fill in whatever task here] a disservice, as if my dedication or results were quantified by how hard I drove myself into the ground, trying to do it all. I’ve made a conscious effort over the last year or so to really take a step back and ask myself these questions to work towards a life that is sustainable:

-      Am I fulfilled by how hard I’m going, or drained by it?

-      This is cool for now, but can I keep this up long term?

-      Am I gracing myself when I backslide or don’t meet the goals that I’ve set for myself?

I think it’s really important to be real with yourself and check yourself, using your own rendition of those questions because everybody wants to do and be the best version of themselves, but how good are you really going to get if you can’t sustain what you start?

Like I said before, my natural disposition is to go hard, it’s all or nothing. I’m working out, eating clean, on top of my self-care morning noon and night, on top of my school work AND professional obligations, or I’m doing nothing at all. I get into this headspace of trying to accelerate progress by operating at 100% capacity 100% of the time when in reality, all I’m doing is setting myself up for failure because I’m human and I will get tired. And then everything falls apart, so to speak. Burnout is very real, and experiencing burnout over and over again (at my own hands more often than not), recovering from that, and figuring out ways to avoid that is what inspired me to write this post and I hope you find something useful in it.

Big Picture Item #1: Baby Steps

You have to take baby steps. Running yourself into the ground does not guarantee that you will get from point A to point B any faster. So take baby steps.

My first tip is to set realistic expectations and be self-aware. I recently read a post on the The Prevail Projectthat really sums this point up: understanding that you can only do so much with your day is equally as important as recognizing your latent potential. You can’t be everything for everyone, and knowing your limits is important—but so is knowing when not to limit yourself. This is arguably the biggest piece of the foundation for building a life that is sustainable because building a sustainable life requires balance, giving and taking. You can’t give all the time, but you can’t take all the time either. If you think about life like a balancing scale, the portions in both parts of the scale must be of equal weight or close to equal weight so that the scale doesn’t tip over. Just like the balance is what makes the scale stay upright, it is the balance of giving and taking that makes life sustainable. So ask yourself the hard questions about what you realistically can and cannot do.

My second tip is to take care of yourself in the small ways before you shoot for helping yourself or others in big ways. Before trying to tackle the gym 6 days per week, try making sure that you move for at least 30 minutes a day. That could be walking across campus instead of driving, or walking around your neighborhood before or after work. Before trying to go from eating poorly to the Beychella Diet, go back to the basics. Make sure that you’re eat three, nourishing meals every day and drinking a decent amount of water. The reason why taking baby steps is so important to building a life that is sustainable is because for one, change takes time, and two, research shows that you’re more likely to stick with small shifts than large ones. Making lots of small shifts gives you time to adjust, tweak what’s not working so well, and build from there. Think of it like learning how to swim: would you prefer to start with a kickboard, swim in 3 feet where you have access to bottom of the pool just in case, and then swim in 10 feet, or be thrown into the middle of the ocean? I’ll take option A.

Big Picture Item #2: Sleep Hygiene

I know, I know. You’ve heard it a million times, but there’s a reason why. Sleep hygiene is extremely important, it literally sets the stage for your next day. Getting a decent amount of sleep gives your body the time it needs to reset and recalibrate, and you need energy and a properly functioning body to reach your goals. Being well rested increases your chances of building and maintaining habits. I like to work out at night because I’d honestly rather die that wake up early to work out and I have class and work during the day. So after I’ve completed all of my obligations to other people during the day, I do what I have to do for me at night. But one thing I’ve noticed is that I toss and turn like crazy after working out at night. Those post-workout endorphins are real and I feel super energized after a workout when all I really want to do is sleep. Since the end of the semester, I’ve been going to the gym in the late afternoon (I have so much time on my hands that it’s scary) and the quality of my sleep is SO much better. So I say all of that to say that it’s about quality and quantity, not just the quantity.

Big Picture Item #3: Create Structure

Sleep hygiene sets the stage for your next day and your morning routine is the first number of the show. I’ve gotten into the habit of not getting on social media or responding to any texts or calls as soon as I wake up. I only actively use my phone to read my daily devotional. Then I pray, listen to my call-and-response daily affirmations, claim whatever I want to claim for the day and really set the tone. Then I play some music that boosts me, get dressed, and go about my merry way. I know it probably sounds crazy, but when I’m “too busy” to do those things, other things fall apart too. Having that morning structure and routine is what helps me to maintain structure (and get stuff done) throughout the day. A somewhat regular routine is easier to sustain and after a while, it becomes second nature.

Big Picture Item #3: Priorities and Boundaries

I’ve mentioned this in other posts and I will continue to mention it because it’s SO incredibly important. Having your priorities in order and boundaries in place will make your everyday easier to sustain. Say no if your answer is not a yes, and understand that friction may come with that. Your time is your time, and you’re more willing to give something your all and maintain it if you’re all in. So you’re really doing both of you a disservice if you say “yes” when you should really be saying “no”. In terms of identifying priorities, defining what’s important makes it easier to focus on what truly matters to you; you’ll be able to distribute your time and energy in a way that is most valuable.

Lastly, continue to focus on progress, not perfection. One of my favorite influencers Shameless Mayaposted about a book she’s reading on Instagram. In Feck Perfuction: Dangerous Ideas on the Business of Lifeby James Victore, the author says “What’s better than perfect? Done. Done is better than perfect.” I loved that quote because it’s true! Done is better than perfect and it’s foolish to try to do something that’s literally unattainable. So if you find yourself falling into the perfectionist mindset like I do sometimes, always remember to take baby steps and the done is better than perfect.

 If you’re ready to start your journey to becoming your own wellness expert, join the community and get my list guide, “5 Things to Know When Starting Your Wellness Journey”, to uncomplicate wellness, bypass common roadblocks, and fast track your journey.

I hope this gets you one step closer to reaching your wellness goals without the guesswork and until next time, thanks for journeying with me.